How I already reached my goals in 2019

Attitude is everything

I have always been able to “find” the good in hard or bad situations. This is a trait I developed most likely from my father’s side of the family because they tend to not really get into any other emotion except happiness or excitement. On the other hand, my mother’s side of the family is the opposite, stern and dismissive. So I made sure very young that I knew how to recognize and embrace my emotions as much as possible. Now I am at a place in my life where if I need to cry, I cry. If I need to tell or scream I do. If I’m in a giggly mood I stay that way. I try to be content in whatever emotion I’m feeling because emotion is all it is. This is last maybe 30 seconds and then I can move on feeling clarity and contentment.

Pinpoint What do you want?

This seems like an easy question, but so often people spend more time searching for what they love than they do actually doing what they love. For me, I knew I wanted to marry Toby and start and family and stay home and really pour love, time and work into my family. I knew this probably after my husband and I was dating a little over 2 years. I can work and make an income anytime in my life. The desires of my heart to stay at home while we have young children is much much more than my desire for material things. So it just made sense to trade the two. At least for this season of life.

How to Plan to you achieve your goal

So you have figured out what you want, now how to get it? I became remotely obsessed with being a SAHM. (stay at home mom) I first began with the logistics, the money is it possible and how can we make it possible. This was not as difficult as my paycheck did not take care of Bill’s it was just my gas, food, and entertainment. After we figured the numbers were right my husband and I talked about me staying home for a long time and the possible problems and arguments that could arise. Obviously, he would be the only person bringing in money. This is just something to make sure you are aware of that way it never becomes an issue. I put my notice in April 2018 and have not looked back since! I think if you have a clear cut idea for your goals/life there is no way you can’t achieve it. Work hard and Stay focused. We can do it! #goalgetter #bossmama

πŸ“Έ Photo by @sarahdmock on Instagram

Jewelry is @milkandhoneymrkt on instagram

3 tips to finding Joy

1. Not caring what other people think.

This is much easier said than done, but also the most beneficial tip. If we walk around taking others dreams, ideas, fears, or insecurity is it really living for yourself? Life is so so short and we do not want to waste our time! You always hear elders talk about what they ‘wished’ they would have done. What if as a society we stopped all the self-doubting and just chased our own unique dreams? That’s when things finally felt like I was in control of the joy I felt in my life. When I stopped listening to outsiders who (even with best interest at heart) do not know my heart and my desires.

2. Go with your gut

This is a goodie. Whatever we decide to do in this life I pray it lights a fire and brings peace and joy. Oh, that feeling you get when you’re succeeding at something you love! Isn’t that the best? I think tip numbers 1 and 2 tie into one another. What I mean by this is if something excites you or interest you and you have the ability to do it. Do it. Life is all about what you make it. There are so many opportunities headed our way if we would just have faith and go for it then who knows maybe we can achieve it!

3. Be present and be patient

This is kinda a 2 for 1 lol. Staying present and being patient is extremely difficult for me. I have always been a goal setter. Looking for the next best thing! So staying content and just taking in the present is sometimes challenging. Laying down the electronics and going outdoors seem to be how I achieve this every day. Patience, on the other hand, has never come easy. I have prayed and prayed and I think the Lors himself is just waiting on me to get it through my thick head! But seriously meditating, being in nature and just slowing down seems to always uplift my day. I hope this brings someone a little happiness. πŸ•Š #joyfilled #positiveenergy #manifestation #blogmom

πŸ“Έ Photo by @downtoearthphotography on Instagram

My natural hair journey

My hair prologue

I’ve attached a few photos through the years of my hair journey. From relaxers from 2006-2014 about every eight weeks! If you are thinking of going natural or transitioning to natural hair, do it!! It is so much better for you and your hair! It’s about the same price too just more time, and your hair will look better I guarantee it! I big chopped December 23, 2015! Unplanned the day before Christmas eve lol! I loved it! You are beautiful naturally! We do not need to change how we are to fit into society. I personally want to be the damn right opposite of our Millennial beauty standards! I’m so over big tots, big ass, big lips, and flat hair like okay it’s been done, honey. I had people make fun of me in school for my little short afro but 100% of those people are irrelevant now. Funny how that works. Something seems so monumental at the moment and two months later you can’t even remember so and so’s the name! Best not to waste your energy getting upset. So please if you’re thinking about it I urge you to watch YouTube videos on natural hair journeys! I probably watched over 50, they are super helpful! This is how the hair grows naturally out of our head! Why change it?

Tips for transitioning to natural hair

1. These tools I use daily. A Wide tooth comb, denim brush, boar bristle brush, satin pillowcase.

2. Find youtubers or bloggers with similar hair texture for inspiration.

3. Do not hang on to those ends sweetie they’re already dead. I recommend seeing a professional hair stylist!

4. Do not care what others think. They ALWAYS have an opinion. And it has NOTHING to do with you.

5. Leave in, oil, cream. This is for every time you wash and style. I always do these three steps. (Just find the best ones for you and stick to those you don’t need 700577839 products.

6. Deep condition as much as possible.

7. Find your favorite protective styles that are easy and nonmanipulative.

8. FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR HAIR!! If you don’t how do you expect others to? Peace and blessings also patience is key! πŸŒΏπŸ•Š #naturalhair #curlyhair #naturalhairjourney #blogmom

Freshly relaxed hair from the salon obviously broken and brittle
Relaxed hair had been transitioning for about 1 year
Okay, this was relaxed air dried hair! Omg just no! Along with semi-perm hair dye and chlorine from the pool.
Alright, this is when I intentionally started transitioning to natural hair this was the first time I wore my hair “natural” in front of my peers. I got so many compliments that day lol
Big chop December 23, 2015, I was so done with two textures and my stringy dead ends!!
Senior photos!
My hair started growing a lot faster!!
Engagement photos with my little TWA!

Photo by kilylaurenphotography

This is where I’m currently at in December 2018!!! It has been a journey that’s for sure!!!

πŸ“Έ Photos credits by @sarahdmock on Instagram

By @kileyylauren on Instagram

By @brownkaitlyne on Instagram

By @aswinchester23 on Instagram

Raising children your own way

Parenting. It’s exhausting and hard, but also rewarding and magical. Without getting into the nitty-gritty my husband and I both wanted our family dynamic to be very different than that which we were brought up. Not completely but for the most part, our parenting styles were not the same as our parents. So we both had to start from scratch. I worked as a babysitter/nanny and then at a daycare before having my son so I had some idea of the style of parenting I preferred. My husband is a very go with the flow personality and I feel like his parenting styles shifted as he gained knowledge of different parenting styles.

Parenting style

Everyone is going to parent differently because every child and every circumstance is different. We prefer and believe in respectful parenting, mixed with some child lead and gentle parenting tactics. Obviously, we do not crack open a book every time our 21-month-old throws a tantrum but we try and abide by the guidelines these parenting books layout. There are so many resources today. The internet being the biggest and broadest, but something about touching, smelling, and reading an actual book that is so satisfying. It’s like this is in a book! There was a lot of money and time invested in this. So in my opinion this book is more reliable than maybe some internet article (ironic). I always do research on both ends of course. That is the only way to collect real research,but I would recommend checking out your local library and browsing the parenting sections. You may be surprised what goodies you find! πŸ•Š #blogmom #respectfulparenting #marriagegoals #family #outdoor

Resources

I am currently not finished with these books yet. I will finish them though! I use the table of contents a lot and read all around in each book to applicable chapters or pages. Another great resource is podcasts! I use the double pod app. Just type your parenting styles in the search engine and you can browse and listen to them for free!

Newbies guide to positive parenting by Rebecca Eanes

How Children Learn by John Holt

All photos on the post

Instagram: @throughthelookingglassphotography

Toby and Alonna 2012-

Toby and I met in drama class at our high school. It was my freshman year and his junior year. On the first day, I was accidentally put into the Drama2 class and later in the week switched to Drama1 with my future husband. On the first day, I walked in the double doors and I remember having to walk along the auditorium in front of the whole class. I saw Toby and his friend next to him and immediately thought oh he’s cute and kept walking to my teacher. Now it’s funny to think about but we had never talked to each other not seen each other. The weeks went on and we flirted a little in class. Then it came time for our winter break.

We had exchanged phone numbers earlier on as friends and I remember the whole last week before the break there was just tension. Good tension like I want to be with this guy and I’m sure he had his own thoughts. But he walked me out after class and another classmate walked with us the whole time lol. I could tell Toby wanted to talk to me alone. After I got picked up because I did not even have a driver’s license yet. We texted all day long. When I got home he asked if I had plans over the break, and if not he wanted to hang out! I flipped out and called my best friend, true 15-year-old girl freak out. We ended up at our local Applebees and a movie and let’s just say the first date was “memorable” but such a blast! If you know me you know I have a loud and bubbly personality and Toby is the complete opposite, calm and cools almost all the time. So it makes sense after our movie I look over and I kissed him! 15?! Calm down girl! A girl knows what she wants.

Anyways Toby had quickly become one of my good friends at school and dating him was even better! He was constantly holding doors, calling me babydoll, and spending a lot of his time and money on me! So I knew he felt like what we have is important and worth the time and effort. He was pursuing me in all the right ways. He still does. But in the beginning, everything is so new and sweet. I remember one day in my room we were “talking” and 15 years old me said, “I’m going to marry you, you know that?” He sweetly smiled and looked at me with those dang gorgeous brown eyes! And said “okay!” just as solemn and sure as he always is. Gosh, I love him. We talked about marriage from the third month or so of dating, I’m sure all of my friends thought we moved quickly but I felt like we just seemed right. Not only lustful teenage angst but passionate love and a stronger friendship than we knew we had.

Like I said Toby is two years older so he finished school in 2013 and I graduated In 2015. On the day of my graduation, we were taking photos and my friends and family are there and so are his! Right there at our high school football stadium, he proposed! He literally waited 15 minutes after I graduated! Haha, I love this man ya’ll! So I planned our wedding in 5 months and we got married on October 11, 2015, with all the love we could wish for.

We were married about 10 months before I found out I was pregnant with our son. He was born on February 10th, 2017. Our love story continues and I can not wait to see what is written! πŸ•Š

#blogmom #blog #wifey #couplegoals

All photos by

Instagram: @kileylaurenphotography

How I changed my mindset to start a blog

I started this blog as a creative outlet for myself. I have thought about starting a blog in 2015 and I am just now doing it in 2018. There are a lot of topics I would like to discuss in this space. A lot of topics that I do not feel comfortable chatting about with just anyone. It is hard to find community sometimes, especially when your views on parenting, marriage, and just life may be different from the vast majority of people in your life. Hopefully, simplyalonna is a space where positive minds can come together.”The things you are passionate about are not random, they are your calling.” I found this quote on Pinterest a while back and I immediately loved it.

I want to do what I want to do.

Like I said before I have been thinking about blogging for years and I just now got up the guts to go for it. Starting this journey and writing a post every day has made me more passionate about all the things and people I love and that is reason enough. People are ALWAYS going to tell you their opinion. Especially those closest to you, they may be the ones whose judgment hurts the most. But if we just stopped letting other peoples fears and anxieties rule and dictate our life then I bet we would all be a lot more satisfied. I do not want any regrets that scare me more than failing at something. Writing this blog lets me visually see the best in myself. I don’t know why I didn’t start sooner.

I could not stop thinking about it!

Have you ever really wanted to do something or have something and it’s all you can think about? Well, there is a reason. Life is not a chance. Things do not just happen. There is a reason for everything and I truly believe that. If you want something, take action. Think of a plan to achieve it. Even if it seems far fetched or a little ridiculous. Who cares, at least you’re doing something to achieve your goals! It may take longer to achieve something or maybe a goal changes but every time I do this something good happens! My rule is if I can not stop thinking about something get it, do it or figure out a way. That is how I felt before I wrote my first blog post. Thank you for reading! πŸ•Š

#blogmom #blog #justdoit #manifestation #joyfilled

All photos on this post

instagram: @alybrookephotography

Tips to start Living for yourself

It seems as people get older they get less satisfied. Why? I am happier now than I have ever been in my life. I know that circumstances change but the way we as individuals respond can stay constant. Imagine being constantly joyful! I’m sharing what has helped me change my perspective on pretty much everything.

Be as authentic as possible.

I struggle at comparing myself to others. This is such a downfall because your individuality is what separates us and makes us unique! When someone is just being themselves it’s attractive. Not in a weird way! Like oh, that person looks happy I want to be happy too! Instead of comparing and trying to be like someone else. We should all embrace our qualities and quirks that make us a little different!

Not caring what people think.

I know easier said than done. This is definitely a lot easier not going to a job or school or hearing a large amount of my peers opinions. I have lost all social norms. Thank the Lord! I’m a naturally happy bubbly person. It is how I thrive and do my best. When Bowen and I go out we are always the loudest! And you know what we have fun, we are not concerned about what anyone else is doing. It really does give you a sense of freedom. Like okay, people are going to love you and hate you and none of it has to do with you. I love that. This is your ONLY life. So if you are questioning something based on others opinions. Don’t.

Do what you want.

This kind of ties into not caring what other people think. When you have freed yourself of others opinions you really feel empowered. Or that’s just my personality. Either way, if you are thinking of something over and over. There is a reason, dig deep and then act. The action is the only way to get anything done. Small progression is still moving forward so remember to have grace if what you want to achieve is big! This life is so precious and we all get the choice to live it how we want. Do not waste it!

Thank you for reading! πŸ•Š

Photos by

Instagram: @alybrookephotography