Why I stay home while my husband works full time

I know most women do not even have the option to stay home full time with their children. When I say I am 21 with an almost two year old. I guess people do not expect that I’m married. Then when I tell them I am a STAHM (stay at home mom) they are shocked.Not only is it because I was so blessed with an extremely hard working husband. But we worked together to decide what we wanted for our son and our families future. He has always been my biggest supporter and I am his. I find alot of pride in keeping my household in order, cooking dinner, and having one on one time with my son and being home when my husband gets home! He finds pride in providing for his families needs.

Before I quit my job

We did not exactly plan to get pregnant in our first year of marriage it just happened. Throughout my pregnancy I worked at a daycare until I was 39 weeks pregnant. My husband and I always loved the idea of me staying at home with our children but at the time it just was not financially possible. After I had Bowen I went back to work but only from 2pm-6pm everyday. This was my mother in law could keep Bowen. During this time I got a job opportunity to work PRN (as needed) at a doctors office for a little more money. Fast forward about six months, Toby got a great opportunity to move to another company that was about 45 minutes away from us. He accepted the offer and this is when the discussion of me staying home came up.

The stress VS the money

Okay I’m not going to start a debate here but. Women do not get paid very much at simple jobs. For example if I was a man I could go cut grass for $15 an hour and not have to talk to anyone. Working at a daycare you can get paid $8 an hour, have a smile on your face 24/7, spend time and money on your classroom. And if you do have to pay for your own child’s daycare out of that. You have no paycheck. Okay so I’ll just get a higher paying job. I started working at a doctors office when Bowen was about 6 months old. Now that’s all good if you can get more than 15 hours a week! Since I was as needed and I could not commit to full time because Bowen was not in a daycare I only got scheduled a couple times a week. We talked about daycare and me working full time but the bad always outweighed the good by a long shot. So I turned in my two weeks and in May of 2017 I started staying home.

Buildung OUR child’s character

American kids have a character problem. If you do not agree than thats on you. My husband and I have always said our child is going to be respectful. I do not care who or what he is talking to it better only be kind and respectful words. Especially an elder speaking to him. We wanted to teach him good character. The idea of sending my child to someone else to teach them about life makes me feel uneasy. Mostly because I know how Toby and I think is not the way most people think. Think about this. I can gurentee the daycare teacher is on a totally different wave length with discipline and how to raise children than you. I can attest, I was that teacher! These are not their kids, and they are BARELY getting paid minimum wage. Why would they take extra time with your child when they have to watch 6 other kids? It’s not going to happen. Teaching obedience and a strong moral character in our children takes time, patience, and persistence but we think it is worth it.

We are open to homeschool

I’m going to try and keep this short because I could talk about homeschool forever. There is still so much I have to learn. We do not know if this is the way we will decide to teach Bowen. There is a convention in our local community about homeschooling that will kind of be our deciding factor. This is what we are thinking. I had a hard time in the public school system moving from town to town and getting pushed through my most important years (grades 1-4). I had all sorts of family and emotionally things going on then that I did not even understand at the time. As I grew and came to safe and healthy place I noticed how much longer and harder I had to study. I would come early and stay late. Any extra credit I needed to do I did it. But my aunt had to re-teach what I should have already known and I had to teach myself how to learn new things and it was really, really hard. My husband is dyslexic and ADD as well so we both needed extra attention in school. Now neither one of our parents would have been able to stay home and homeschool their kids. But we have the option, we have the resources and I think I have the ability. I am passionate about my son and my family and this just makes sense to us. I have found such a peace the more I look into all that homeschool has to offer as opposed to traditional school!

I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions! Thankyou for reading! 🕊

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Instagram: @alybrookephotography

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