Little people have such big emotions just like we do. The issue is that we expect them to react to their emotions like a grown adult would, when the fact is they physically and developmental can NOT. I’ve always wanted to be a more gentle parent (no spanking, time outs, yelling). Through my childhood, i learned my triggers that stressed me out were these parenting tactics. So when i had my own son i knew gentle parenting was going to be the way to go! This type of parenting takes patience, persistence, and grace something our society has an extremely hard time practicing. Below I’m listing three tips to help you on your parenting journey and just know when in doubt all your children need is your love.
This one is pretty important. If you say something to your child you better mean it and fully intend on acting out your words. For example, if you say “stop doing that or we will have to leave” and your child does “it” again. You leave. Period. This is setting boundaries without any type of physical punishment or yelling at your child. Children need you to show them guidance to teach them and in order to do that they have to trust your word. Stay consistent so there are no surprises and you and your child know what to expect of each other. Always with love and grace!
Have high expectations
This one is more personally and ties into the first tip. If you let your child yell and scream and throw toys at home you can NOT get upset when you are at the store and they want to yell and scream and throw toys. I know it can be exhausting but by setting these expectations early my son at least isn’t thrown for a loop when we go out he knows what is expected. Now toddlers are toddlers so all you can do is guide and teach, NEVER expect anything. You will end up disappointed. And of course show them sympathy and love as much as possible.
Breath and lead by example
If you are both flustered and overwhelmed it is good to maybe check in with yourself. Our mood directly affects our children and if they sense we are stressed they start to take that mood on as well. Take a few deep breaths, talk in a soft calm voice and try to understand how you both are feeling and how to help resolve the issue. Literally stop breathe and remind yourself you are teaching everyday by how you respond! And show all the love, give all the hugs. Good luck and know you are doing the best you can! Thanks for reading! 🕊
Your vibe is their vibe.
It is so easy especially as a new mom to forget that a little person is watching your character so closely. Even mimicking you. For example, if my husband and I are even having a conversation about a topic that is intense it could even be a movie, but if our demeanor changes his quickly does too. He will yell out “ahhh” as if to say “hey you’re being too loud”! I’ve found that staying with a constant almost monotone voice is best while he is learning what words mean.
Consistency is key
Oh boy. This i already knew i just didn’t realize the amount of consistency. Bowen does best when he has a morning and nighttime routine at home. As far as weekends and babysitting we try and limit it because of how difficult it would be to get back on a set schedule. Also his eating i try and stick to whole foods, fruits, and veggies but when he weened to food i introduced him to the wrong choices. Now it’s like we have been on track for about a year but he is learning to like new foods and textures as well. Again consistency with his meals and portion sizes are important at the moment. All in all staying consistent seems to make every transition easier.
Comparison is the thief of joy
It is so easy to compare when you are worried about your child ” is this normal”? Might even cross your mind. This is a natural reaction to distress especially when it seems you can not do anything to help. In my experience, the WORST thing you can do is compare to family, friends, students, etc because they are not this child or living this child’s life with their circumstances. That is why you have to look even at siblings as individuals they should not have to “be like” anyone because they are just being themselves. Our job as parents is to observe, support, teach, and guide them in a loving way so that they can eventually do hard things on their own. Easier said than done. If you feel yourself starting to compare and feel bad about a behavior your child is having try getting on their level really analyze the feeling that they are experiencing and try to be empathetic. Not having an expectation of them acting a certain way saves time and heartache for both toddlers and parents! Just know your child is so special and unique they are truly one of a kind. Don’t try to change them, help and embrace them!
Fawn designs mini in brown
When my husband and I found out we were pregnant I didn’t even think about what kind of bag we would use. Instead of researching I just picked out the one we agreed on style wise which was a canvas grey backpack from Amazon. This lasted 2 years before the plastic adjustment broke on one side. Then I was in the market for a replacement. I had seen leather diaper bags advertised but didn’t know if that was the route i wanted. After seeing a fawn bag in person and touching the quality i knew that was going to be our next diaper bag investment. I was going to get the original size but to my knowledge if you only have one child the mini is plenty roomy enough. And for someone like me who likes things fairly minimal. The mini brown diaper bag was a no brainer. I have used this bag for about a month now and can say that the quality of the vegan leather and zippers is better than any of my other bags. The stitching is extremely thick so you can really store anything you need. I love my diaper bag and only wish I would have had it sooner! Thank you for reading. Retail Price is 94.99
Mom guilt seems like a fad because we have just put a label on it, but I think it’s been around since the first mothers! In my experience, this guilt comes from a place of feeling like I have not done enough and do not deserve “time off”. Being a full-time STAHM routine seems to be the key to everything lol. If I am consistently doing something we find a groove and it is an easy transition. Below I’ve listed a small checklist I do mind when I plan on having some me time.
1. Make sure you and your children feel secure about leaving the fun-filled day with each other, food, clean and dry, special activity or movie)
2. Try and focus on what you are doing at the moment (when you get where you’re going try to stay present)
3. Remember why you decided the alone time was desired (know this is good for you and your mental health and you are taking care of yourself)
Life is often referred to as a balancing act. Many times we as humans keep ourselves busy with different tasks and interests that we can feel like we are falling short in an area. That is not a feeling I want, instead of figuring out the steps to take to feel at peace and balanced. I have three points when moving toward this goal.
Pinpoint your desires
Really figure out what you want in life. Broadly. Your family, your home, your career, your hobbies, your legacy. Now that I have “goals” for the future. I can better analyze my life now to see if everything is moving toward these goals or maybe hindering them.
Know your priorities
If you keep doing something or going somewhere or being around someone you do not care for. Stop. Just stop it. No need to be dramatic just stop living your life to please others. You have your own goals, responsibilities, and ethics no need to take on any others. Try and keep your focus on what you want and how youre going to make it happen. This kind of tricks your brain into finding opportunities you may otherwise not notice. Know your own priorities.
Stay present and have gratitude
Stay present and be grateful sounds so simple but can be tricky. For some reason, humans are always thinking ahead. This can obviously cause a distraction of the real goal. To be present. For example when you are sweeping the floor do not think about what youre doing after, only think about sweeping the floor. It sounds silly but this is a big one for training your brain to focus on what you tell it. As far as gratitude just pass on kindness and help to people as much as you can. Treat others how you would want to be treated and be grateful for what you have now and where you are now. Thank you for reading! 🕊
Have a routine
Morning and nighttime routine is a must for children they strive off of consistency. You do not have to be strict and exact everyday but doing the same tasks in the same order every morning can help get the day started off by feeling g accomplished. A nighttime routine maybe a warm bath, Jamie’s, milk and a story before bed. This is a perfect way to get there little minds ready for bedtime.
This is my number one struggle because I am enthusiastic by nature. Of course when a child is upset or crying you want to remain calm to help them through. But even more interesting I have found my son does better with a calm atmosphere in general. No electronics, simple toys, a low slow tone in my voice. He responds much more calm which makes total sense. If you find yourself dealing with alot of meltdowns one day try being extra calm almost like a yoga instructor voice and see how your little responds.
Make mundane tasks feel special
I do this every day. I wake up make my coffee open a window and just have my morning time to myself. This makes doing chores around the home just feel like I am sipping coffee and having me time not housework. If you are moping try listening to some fun dance music. You can always make the say a little more upbeat and special!
Love, when in doubt just love them
If all else fails and I just can not win that day. Grace and love always wins even through a tantrum I can hold him in a safe position until he is calm and just hug him and tell him I am here. We are not perfect and neither are our little people. If we could just treat them how we would want to be treated and meet them with love and understanding then we will be able to teach our child in the ways we want. When I was young my mother told me she loved me one or two times that I can remember same for hugging and kissing. I make sure to hug and kiss my son everyday multiple times as well as tell him how much I love him and how amazing he is. Thankyou for reading beautiful people! 🕊