How to Know your worth

Photo by @agcampphotos on Instagram

Outfit is by elkmont trading company clemson SC.

Worth is the value at which someone or something deserves to be rated. This blog post might sound a little like a rant but… It’s my blog so I can really say whatever the fuck I actually, please.

Stop beating around the bush

I was born in upstate NY and my whole family is from there. I grew up saying the first thing I thought. Never was I corrected or belittled or made to feel ignorant. Moving on to moving to upstate SC people are completely different. Not in a bad way. I obviously really enjoy it here and the people. The only thing is around here if you say “No” people tend to think you are mad or upset. They need a full explanation as to “why” you said no. No is a complete damn sentence, you should not have to defend your answer ever. I love saying no. As someone who struggles with anxiety and ADD spreading myself thin by saying yes to. everything only makes my life feel like chaos. So if you don’t want to do something do not best around just say NO!

Eliminate negativity

This one is hard and goes back to NOT beating around the bush but I struggle with this daily. If you know something is stressing you out. Eliminate it now. Laundry that needs folding? Do it. Dishes? Wash them. Dinnertime chaos? Pinterest and let the baby watch TV. Child tantrum? Talk to them. Appointment or meeting? Do your research and crush it! You can find what really adds stress and chaos to your daily routine and make them work for you. This is your life don’t waste it worrying about the daily craziness.

Be proud

It is common to be told not to be prideful and this is true. But if you are proud of your life you have created I have found that pride only manifest that amazing life even more. It’s like you’re telling the universe I’m proud of how I reacted to all the different scenarios that were thrown my way and now look! You have probably spent some time and money getting where you are now. Remember to stay humble and grateful for where you are but definitely be proud of where you’re going. πŸ•Š

Best tips for toddler Temper Tantrums

Photos by @downtoearthphotography on Instagram

Clothing is @shopentourage on Instagram

Understanding Tantrums

I worked at a daycare for 2 years in and out of the toddler classrooms. I have a two-year-old son who has also taught me a lot about toddlers and their many emotions (usually justified). When children hit around age 2 they begin to test their limits and boundaries of life. They are growing, learning and developing. Also, communication is limited but receptive language is soaring. Toddlers are starting to understand very well but can not express themselves or most ideas verbally yet. Frustrating. Then Naturally, they are going to make mistakes (part of learning anything new) and how we react to them is a direct correlation with how they will react. For example, if our child makes a mess with a toy or food we could react by shouting and scowling. Or we could ask them why they did it and explain why they should not have made that choice. This takes more time and energy but in the long run, teaches a lesson and gives the child an understanding. Instead of scaring and degrading them. You have to think about children as yourself how would you want to be treated at that age? Or now? Would you yell at your spouse or friend for making a mess?

Egnologing their feelings

If you were crying and someone who was trying to comfort you says “oh you’re fine”. You’re probably not going to confide in them again. Same with our children the only difference is we feel as adults that they should have “control” and suppress feelings at a young age. If my two-year-old is upset because he wants something in a store that he can not have, because we don’t give him whatever he wants, he is not being a brat he is upset that he can not get his way. Our JOB is to teach how to cope with these feelings. I usually say I see you really wanted that thing, I know it is frustrating not to get what you want. But and then go on to explain you have plenty of you to play with or whatever.

Finding a solution

Okay, this is just as important a the first two steps to you will just be repeating the same thing over and over. So after you have understood what your child is upset about, now you can move on to finding a solution. This might look like “I know you want this but we can not get that and I know that makes you upset but we can eat these snacks I brought until we’re done at the store. Almost a distraction but you are still doing the 3 keynotes. This technique has worked for me and I hope it works for anyone else! πŸ•Š

*Disclaimer: I am not an expert childcare specialist. If you need advice on what to do, talk to your medical provider. This is simply my opinion and experience.

Advice on Manifesting your own destiny

What does it mean to manifest your destiny?

Manifest means clear or obvious to the eye or mind. Simple. And destiny the events that necessarily happen to a specific person or thing in the future.

What draws you in?

The first step in manifesting your destiny is defining what you want. This is where it gets tricky. It’s not figuring out what you need to be a successful person it’s figuring out what lights your soul on fire. That’s what I want to spend my time and energy on. Whatever you love, what excites you, makes you giddy and ready to start! For me, I like reading other bloggers and Instagram accounts so next step…

Act like you’ve done it forever

This is huge because manifesting is just believing you have something already but really you do not, yet. When you have made your decision start acting on it. You do not have to be perfect, but at least you are here. Where you want to be and spending your time how you want. Study other habits in your niche. If there is someone you look up to, see what they are doing and how they do it. You may just find you’re a lot better than you thought!

Consistency is key

This is true for almost everything in life. If you really want something done correctly and efficiently you have to stay consistent. There is no way around this. But I find that setting yourself up for “small wins” is more effective. For example, instead of writing a to-do list twenty bullets longs write down three and when you have done them you will feel a lot more satisfied. Do a little every day and it will all add up.

Love your surroundings

Now, this is more drastic but totally worth it. Your home, car, the things you eat, and people you are around affecting your mood. These are all part of your surroundings. I suggest analyzing what you do not love and if it is unnecessary and can go. Let it go. Or them. Things and people who are not building us up and adding positive vibes do nothing but tear your spirits down. I am responsible for my joy in life but I am also responsible for the lack of.

I hope we can all manifest our life to their fullest potential! Thank you for reading! πŸ•Š
#blog #manifestation #dreamer #adventure #radiatepositivity

How I already reached my goals in 2019

Attitude is everything

I have always been able to “find” the good in hard or bad situations. This is a trait I developed most likely from my father’s side of the family because they tend to not really get into any other emotion except happiness or excitement. On the other hand, my mother’s side of the family is the opposite, stern and dismissive. So I made sure very young that I knew how to recognize and embrace my emotions as much as possible. Now I am at a place in my life where if I need to cry, I cry. If I need to tell or scream I do. If I’m in a giggly mood I stay that way. I try to be content in whatever emotion I’m feeling because emotion is all it is. This is last maybe 30 seconds and then I can move on feeling clarity and contentment.

Pinpoint What do you want?

This seems like an easy question, but so often people spend more time searching for what they love than they do actually doing what they love. For me, I knew I wanted to marry Toby and start and family and stay home and really pour love, time and work into my family. I knew this probably after my husband and I was dating a little over 2 years. I can work and make an income anytime in my life. The desires of my heart to stay at home while we have young children is much much more than my desire for material things. So it just made sense to trade the two. At least for this season of life.

How to Plan to you achieve your goal

So you have figured out what you want, now how to get it? I became remotely obsessed with being a SAHM. (stay at home mom) I first began with the logistics, the money is it possible and how can we make it possible. This was not as difficult as my paycheck did not take care of Bill’s it was just my gas, food, and entertainment. After we figured the numbers were right my husband and I talked about me staying home for a long time and the possible problems and arguments that could arise. Obviously, he would be the only person bringing in money. This is just something to make sure you are aware of that way it never becomes an issue. I put my notice in April 2018 and have not looked back since! I think if you have a clear cut idea for your goals/life there is no way you can’t achieve it. Work hard and Stay focused. We can do it! #goalgetter #bossmama

πŸ“Έ Photo by @sarahdmock on Instagram

3 tips to finding Joy

1. Not caring what other people think.

This is much easier said than done, but also the most beneficial tip. If we walk around taking others dreams, ideas, fears, or insecurity is it really living for yourself? Life is so so short and we do not want to waste our time! You always hear elders talk about what they ‘wished’ they would have done. What if as a society we stopped all the self-doubting and just chased our own unique dreams? That’s when things finally felt like I was in control of the joy I felt in my life. When I stopped listening to outsiders who (even with best interest at heart) do not know my heart and my desires.

2. Go with your gut

This is a goodie. Whatever we decide to do in this life I pray it lights a fire and brings peace and joy. Oh, that feeling you get when you’re succeeding at something you love! Isn’t that the best? I think tip numbers 1 and 2 tie into one another. What I mean by this is if something excites you or interest you and you have the ability to do it. Do it. Life is all about what you make it. There are so many opportunities headed our way if we would just have faith and go for it then who knows maybe we can achieve it!

3. Be present and be patient

This is kinda a 2 for 1 lol. Staying present and being patient is extremely difficult for me. I have always been a goal setter. Looking for the next best thing! So staying content and just taking in the present is sometimes challenging. Laying down the electronics and going outdoors seem to be how I achieve this every day. Patience, on the other hand, has never come easy. I have prayed and prayed and I think the Lors himself is just waiting on me to get it through my thick head! But seriously meditating, being in nature and just slowing down seems to always uplift my day. I hope this brings someone a little happiness. πŸ•Š #joyfilled #positiveenergy #manifestation #blogmom

πŸ“Έ Photo by @brownkaitlyne on Instagram

My natural hair journey

My hair prologue

I’ve attached a few photos through the years of my hair journey. From relaxers from 2006-2014 about every eight weeks! If you are thinking of going natural or transitioning to natural hair, do it!! It is so much better for you and your hair! It’s about the same price too just more time, and your hair will look better I guarantee it! I big chopped December 23, 2015! Unplanned the day before Christmas eve lol! I loved it! You are beautiful naturally! We do not need to change how we are to fit into society. I personally want to be the damn right opposite of our Millennial beauty standards! I’m so over big tots, big ass, big lips, and flat hair like okay it’s been done, honey. I had people make fun of me in school for my little short afro but 100% of those people are irrelevant now. Funny how that works. Something seems so monumental at the moment and two months later you can’t even remember so and so’s the name! Best not to waste your energy getting upset. So please if you’re thinking about it I urge you to watch YouTube videos on natural hair journeys! I probably watched over 50, they are super helpful! This is how the hair grows naturally out of our head! Why change it?

Tips for transitioning to natural hair

1. These tools I use daily. A Wide tooth comb, denim brush, boar bristle brush, satin pillowcase.

2. Find youtubers or bloggers with similar hair texture for inspiration.

3. Do not hang on to those ends sweetie they’re already dead. I recommend seeing a professional hair stylist!

4. Do not care what others think. They ALWAYS have an opinion. And it has NOTHING to do with you.

5. Leave in, oil, cream. This is for every time you wash and style. I always do these three steps. (Just find the best ones for you and stick to those you don’t need 700577839 products.

6. Deep condition as much as possible.

7. Find your favorite protective styles that are easy and nonmanipulative.

8. FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR HAIR!! If you don’t how do you expect others to? Peace and blessings also patience is key! πŸŒΏπŸ•Š #naturalhair #curlyhair #naturalhairjourney #blogmom

Freshly relaxed hair from the salon obviously broken and brittle
Relaxed hair had been transitioning for about 1 year
Okay, this was relaxed air dried hair! Omg just no! Along with semi-perm hair dye and chlorine from the pool.
Alright, this is when I intentionally started transitioning to natural hair this was the first time I wore my hair “natural” in front of my peers. I got so many compliments that day lol
Big chop December 23, 2015, I was so done with two textures and my stringy dead ends!!
Senior photos!
My hair started growing a lot faster!!
Engagement photos with my little TWA!

Photo by kilylaurenphotography

This is where I’m currently at in December 2018!!! It has been a journey that’s for sure!!!

πŸ“Έ Photos credits by @sarahdmock on Instagram

By @kileyylauren on Instagram

By @brownkaitlyne on Instagram

By @aswinchester23 on Instagram

Raising children your own way

Parenting. It’s exhausting and hard, but also rewarding and magical. Without getting into the nitty-gritty my husband and I both wanted our family dynamic to be very different than that which we were brought up. Not completely but for the most part, our parenting styles were not the same as our parents. So we both had to start from scratch. I worked as a babysitter/nanny and then at a daycare before having my son so I had some idea of the style of parenting I preferred. My husband is a very go with the flow personality and I feel like his parenting styles shifted as he gained knowledge of different parenting styles.

Parenting style

Everyone is going to parent differently because every child and every circumstance is different. We prefer and believe in respectful parenting, mixed with some child lead and gentle parenting tactics. Obviously, we do not crack open a book every time our 21-month-old throws a tantrum but we try and abide by the guidelines these parenting books layout. There are so many resources today. The internet being the biggest and broadest, but something about touching, smelling, and reading an actual book that is so satisfying. It’s like this is in a book! There was a lot of money and time invested in this. So in my opinion this book is more reliable than maybe some internet article (ironic). I always do research on both ends of course. That is the only way to collect real research,but I would recommend checking out your local library and browsing the parenting sections. You may be surprised what goodies you find! πŸ•Š #blogmom #respectfulparenting #marriagegoals #family #outdoor

Resources

I am currently not finished with these books yet. I will finish them though! I use the table of contents a lot and read all around in each book to applicable chapters or pages. Another great resource is podcasts! I use the double pod app. Just type your parenting styles in the search engine and you can browse and listen to them for free!

Newbies guide to positive parenting by Rebecca Eanes

How Children Learn by John Holt

All photos on the post

Instagram: @throughthelookingglassphotography